Passage I

This Castle’s Much Too Normal

It was late afternoon when my friends and I arrived, at the Scottish castle, an old structure of massive gray stones. The turrets piercing the sky and the gargoyles snarling at us from every jagged ledge sent me straight into the Dark Ages. A forest crowded in on all sides as if trying to smother the castle, like a dragon‘s tongue, a red flag snapped in the March wind. I was thrilled.

Our spring break trip to Europe was low-budget. Lumpy beds, broken television sets, and inexpensive meals were the norm. But we had agreed ahead of time to splurge on one night in a castle. In making our plans, a Scooby-Doo episode came to my mind as I pictured it. I wanted a creepy castle. (7)

My hopes, however, were quickly dashed. A cheerful woman in a flower print dress greeted us. Her name was Pam. That didn’t sound like the name of someone who lives in a castle. I was expecting Guinevere or Lady Larkspur. Chatting about laundry facilities and mealtimes, Pam led us through an entryway; jumble of backpacks and umbrellas. In the kitchen, she poured apple juice into plastic cups for her kids, who were finishing off a plate of animal crackers. This was not my idea of life in a castle. Where were the goblets? The torches? The spiderwebs and secret passageways?

Upstairs, things were no better. A vase of fresh flowers sat next to a bowl of fruit on a gleaming table in our wallpapered bedroom. Everything smelled like soap and looked like the inside of a cottage. I wanted haunted. I got homey.

That evening, no trapdoors opened, no monsters rumbled in the dungeon. Instead, we stumbled upon a cozy family room. The walls there were adorned in which there were heartwarming messages in frames. Where there should have been tapestries of battle scenes, we found photographs of cute kids and admirable creatures.

The next morning after that night, on the train to our next destination, we finally laughed at how “scary” our castle visit had been. Then we finished the last of the homemade muffins from Pam.