Passage III

Meaning and Manners

While traveling abroad recently, my neighbor experienced a common but poorly understood communication problem. One evening at a restaurant, a dish of stuffed mushrooms was ordered with his meal, assuming the dish would be served as an appetizer. When the mushrooms hadn't arrived by the time the main course was served, he asked the waiter, "Are my mushrooms ready yet?” The waiter went to the kitchen and returned in a moment. "Yes, sir, your mushrooms are ready," he said, and then left to wait on another table. In due course, after waiting a while, my neighbor signaled for the waiter and asked him why he still hadn't received his mushrooms. When surprised, the waiter replied that he would be glad to bring the dish when my neighbor requested it. Knowing that the waiter spoke English quite well, my neighbor could not understand why the waiter seemed to be acting rude and impolite.

The miscommunication that occurred between my neighbor and the waiter was not related to grammar, pronunciation, or vocabulary. Rather, it resulted from gap in what sociolinguists call "communicative competence.“ My neighbor did not understand that requests are communicated different from other cultures. The waiter, although fluent in English, did not know how to interpret this particular request. (40) For many English-speakers from the United States, it is considered polite to make a request in the form of a question, but in other languages and cultures, this particular politeness convention is not always used. The waiter had interpreted my neighbors question as a simple request for information, not as a request to bring the dish. (42)

Without communicative competence, even people who speak the same language can misinterpret each other. It is sometimes as important to learn the politeness conventions used by speakers of other languages and cultures as learning their vocabulary and grammar. (44) My neighbor's experience illustrates how important it is to be persistent when learning a foreign language.